OTTAWA — Local vampire Count Vorgoth spends a lot of time in his coffin these days. “Believe me, it’s pretty hard to drain someone’s neck from a socially-appropriate proximity of two metres [six feet],” said Mr. Vorgoth via Skype. “And not only that, nobody wants to get anywhere near a bat these days.” Asked whether there is an upside to the current social distancing rules, Mr. Vorgoth said, “Yes, I’ve been over 70 years old since 1281 AD. There’s no bloody way I afford to catch coronavirus.”